My co-worker was on a cold next to me and he out of nowhere asked the client to hold and turned to me and asked me to conference myself into this call, put myself on mute, and listen in on the conversation. He couldn’t believe that he had this kind of person on the phone.

Anyhow, I conference myself in and then all of a sudden a high pitched New Yorker sounding lady begins speaking again and getting back into conversation with my co-worker.
Shes starts - “do you, do you know the valley?”

Co-Worker - Yes

Crazy Woman - Oh Okay Great, do you know Encino

Co-Worker - Yes

Crazy Woman - Do you know where the Jerry’s Famous Deli is? Could you come like right now, and I’d meet you there?

Co-Worker - No Mam, I don’t know where Jerry’s is and I can’t leave my office chair or I’ll be fired

Crazy Woman - Oh My thats horrible, but could you come meet me in Encino right now, I’m trying to find Bob Silver (pronounced by her as Bawwwwwb Silva) I just need for you to call for me, do you know who he is? Hes in Real estate just like you!

Co-Worker - No mam, I don’t know who he is, but I’m sure I know somebody who does know

Crazy Woman - Oh thats great, see I met him and I didn’t like him, you know, I’m more of a girl who likes pearly white teeth, and his teeth weren’t that great, but that doesn’t matter cause I changed my mind! I want to see him again. Anyhow I called him and he hasn’t been returning my calls and I was wondering if you would call him for me and tell him I want to see him again.

Co-Worker - Mam, I can’t call anyone on your behalf, in fact I’m not allowed to stay on the phone past a certain period.

Crazy Woman - Oh please would you call Bob Silver, let me give you his number, I wasn’t sure that I wanted to see him again, but then I realized I like intellectual people and he has the brains so I want to see him again. Could you call him? Please?

Co-Worker - Mam, I will have to get back to you on that I have to go

Crazy Woman - Okay, I understand, so you are going to call Bob Silver and let him know I called, he probably thinks I’m a cook, when I did see him, see I’m a musician, I love music, and I played him the music that my ex-husband used to love, I hope he didn’t think I’m a cook. I also showed him old photo of me and my Ex, my ex used to be an exotic car broker.

Co-worker - I’m sure he doesn’t think you are crazy mam, you sound perfectly normal

Crazy Woman - Ohh thank you for that, look anyhow, let me give you Bob Silver’s Number, he what kind of name is that you have?

Co-worker - Its Armenian mam,

Crazy Woman - Ohh my ex husband, you know the exotic car broker, his partner was armenian, I don’t know his name but he was armenian, is your wife armenian?

Co-worker - Yes she is, mam I really have to be going, I’m not allowed to be on the phone after a certain point, I really have to be going

Crazy Woman- Ohh wow, I’m sorry, anyhow, call bob silver, let me give you his number and *CLICK*

She proceeded to call back a number of 5 times as well as harass the people at the receptionist about bob silver. This bitch was truly crazy.

So I tell him.
Then educate him on how to decide.
The end result is something positive for all parties involved.
I love my job

WOW, have you have been to www.2ndlife.com. It is amazing this game, its like, a breeding ground of people that I want to shout BECAUSE GOD HATES YOU! These people are ridiculous. I think like got too tough for them, and they feel the competition is over bearing so they enter this 2nd world where they can be big hot shots. This guy showed up in a blue suit, a gold tie and long white hair with sunglasses and proceeded to tell me that he was in the top 115th richest people. His net worth in real life was a $175,000 based on what his assets in this game would be worth should he cash out.

I looked at him and said, I have that tie you are wearing in real life, and proceeded to barter, just to barter. I just let him talk to talk, to see how proud of himself that he has this whole massive amount of virtual stuff. How it gives him confidence in real life. Like he would go up to a girl at a real life coffee shop and be like, “would you like to go to my office high rise building, its all mine” and then have her log on to a computer. Way to go hotshot, gonna be some big scoring going on there.

Which brings me to my next subject. If you can’t get laid in real life, you can get laid in 2nd life! Yes! yes its true, there are entire popular clubs that exist just for this purpose. I walked into one of these places to see how it worked. A guy runs right by me hanging brain, a girl walks infront of me wearing assless chaps. These people are all bound up and doing crazy shit. I turn the corner, this guy is getting a blow job. I walk into a bedroom, theres a threesome. I MEAN what the hell!?!?! So I decide to walk out the backdoor, end up in a dirty alley and theres a foursome, at least from what I can tell, who knows if someone had brought a cage with them.

By now, I’ve bought myself a suit and tie, and nice big long hair, I look good in my opinion, which is the only thing that counts.

Now my curiosity is flaring up, what the hell do these people get out of this? Why is it so popular, why it so lucrative, what the hell is the deal with these guys walking around hanging brain, they’re leading the way, standing salut, they are very happy to see you and it shows. I forget how, but I end up at a BDSM strip club. I sit down at the table, and out of habit, I start tipping 1 Linden dollar at a time. She gets angry with me, and I didn’t get it so I got up and sat down at a couch. I started talking to some random female wearing assless chaps, a whip, and just a little something to cover her breastises. We’re talking, and I get righ tot he point and ask, “are you a girl” cause I’m inclined to think that everyone here is a guy until I hear other wise. She says shes a girl, I say fine, I’ll take her word for it, but I’ll just talk to her like a guy. Time passes, I say, you wants I get an escort and we have some fun? She says sure. At that same time I’m talking to the stripper… sorry erotic dancer… who I had poorly tipped and told her I would make it up to her if she could prove to me she was a guy. Fire up my voip client, and she calls me from germany and explains how it works. The girl I had just met by th way, if she was a girl, she was pretty cool.

Feeling like i’ve come this far I say okay, we’ll get a 30 minute session, we being the female I had been talking to and myself with the erotic stripper dancer. She teleports us into this room, theres all kinds of structures, a bed, a bathroom, and what not. she explains that sex in this world is much like sex over a chat client, except you have a something to look at so you can reference whats going on. I say wonderful, start the show. She goes, before we start, maybe you’d like to buy a cock, it looks kind of odd without the appendage, I said I would but I’m pretty sure I can’t find one nearly as pretty as my 1st life one. Finally we commence, the stripper throws up these 3 ball figure things and continues to tell us where we should click and what buttons to push and before you know it we’re re-enacting that scene from Team America with the puppets. I had a threesome with a stripper and a stranger and I couldn’t stop laughing, at which point we went our ways.

The session finished and I say to myself, wow, that just great, people pay money for this. I don’t feel stupid for doing it, but I would feel stupid if I did it again. Anyhow, theres more posts to come, I’m still exploring the world, trying to tap into every community that I can. I forgot to mention that I walked down a street and came to a pastor wearing a pink Jesus shirt. I proceeded to ask him if I could get confession, and he said, yes it is possible. Ridiculous, I could have gone to church and confession and not even left my house. This game is ridonculous (its a made up word, I’m pretty sure you get it).

So, cousin M and I are at the Rally’s burger in L.A. we’re at the drive through waiting for our LIGHTENING fast food dinner to be served to us. Not paying mind to whats ahead of us, because it was kind of dark, I all of a sudden notice that customer at the walk up is getting his food. The employee hands this man his food and I see him take this bag and place it in a basket. I then begin to slowly realize the bigger picture. The basket was attached to a Mobility Scooter. This was no slim guy, and he didn’t look like he was that old, he was just a fat guy on wheels. This fat guy on wheels drove his mobility scooter ass to the Rally’s to get him some burger and fried and mobility scooter his ass back home.

Now before you say, “who the hell are you to talk?”, I say, hey, I wouldn’t be anything if we were at a restaurant and he was getting a salad. But we were at Rally’s, theres nothing, and I mean nothing healthy about Rally’s, I think they make a point of it in fact. I sympathize with the guy in that gotta enjoy what you eat. But if you are in an obese, keyword obese, individual in a mobility scooter, it doesn’t take a doctor to tell you that you shouldn’t be eating there.

Sad, seriously sad, this guy is doing himself in.

Someone asked me what I was doing, and I said on the side I’m doing something regarding podcasts. The guy proceeds to say, yea, I don’t podcast, my friend hes really really into podcasting try to send me some music regarding podcasting, and I… I really didn’t listen to music online or this podcast thing.

Just getting impatient, like I do, god bless a.d.h.d., I interupted him and said, “do you know why you don’t podcast or listen to music online?” he looks at me and says, “why?” and I say, “Because God Hates you dot com.” He walks away and says, “no because god loves me dot com”

Hes a nice guy.

Apparently, I’m harmless. Just in general, I’m harmless. I was in the office with my boss, and I said stuffs to the office manager, and my boss commented and then she said, “nah its okay, he’s harmless.” (he being me)

People see me as harmless? What the feathers?
Work is going to be empty tomorrow, that should be great, and I’m having an awesome lunch cooked up by my friend.
Harmless? really?

I was getting my haircut today, and my barber had happened to tell me a story. A very good Samaritan type story. Hes driving down the street, he turns his head to the sidewalk to see an old man running after and shouting at a guy running down the street holding a briefcase. The good citizen of our story speeds up ahead of the mugger, and turns his car and quickly gets out and hides around the corner waiting for the culprit to run on by.

The mugger runs right by, my barber jumps out, wing clips the guy to the floor, holds him down. Holding him down, he was able to subdue the individual until some local security people came and cuffed the culprit. The cops came within a couple of minutes and picked up the guy.

How hilarious is that? guy gets caught by some variable he, and no one else, could have seen. Why did I get caught? other than that you stole? Because God Hates You Dot Com!

I hope he wasn’t hurt though…